Bring in the change you desire with kindness

be kind to yourself

Have you ever thought to yourself… why didn’t I just stick to the goals I made?

It’s often a thought which pops up when you regret that you haven’t made the changes you wished for. You are still the same, doing the same things and frustrated that if you had kept going you would look, feel, be different!

It’s as if all your grand plans of change are tossed onto the heap of discarded goals.

There is a part of me, that does hope that you’ve felt this way so I don’t feel alone 😉

For yes, I have been there caught up in the excitement of planning change, enthusiastically taking new actions only to be waylaid by life and overwhelm. Which doesn’t sound great from someone who is a wellbeing coach.

Yet… there is something beautiful about being vulnerable and honest. For, to me, it’s the first step to see how something different can be done. So, if my words resonate with you, I invite you to take a pause and be vulnerable and honest with yourself, grab a journal and answer these questions:

  • What initially made you want to change?
  • Were you wanting change to move away from any negative aspects of your life, health and/or wellbeing?
  • Or were you wanting to change to create a positive impact into your life, health and/or wellbeing?
  • Have you completely stopped the new actions you were taking or are you still doing aspects on an ad hoc basis?
  • What is getting in the way of you being consistent?

Once you gain a deeper understanding of why you want change and how you’ve neglected or been sporadic with the steps your change required, then take another pause and in that space breathe in kindness for yourself.

This to me, is a crucial element to change… the ability to be kind to oneself. As so often, many people are way too hard upon themselves, berating themselves for all the things they didn’t do rather than acknowledging the small victories. Kindness to self goes a long way in sustaining your ability to keep going.

Now answer this next question: how do you feel about disciplining your consistency?

It’s important to gauge how you feel about discipline and about consistency.

Why? As these are the two things which are fundamental for you to change. We can think and talk about how we would like to be different till the cows come home, yet nothing will happen unless action is taken, which requires you to prioritise discipline and consistency.

With that said though, it’s also super important to be aware that some days you’ll be more fired up than others. Motivation levels can fluctuate. Take note of the ebbs and flows of your energy and… on the lower days ask what small thing can I do today which takes me in the direction of my goal? Celebrate the small wins as well as the big.

Can you develop a habit of being consistently disciplined by allowing yourself to do something imperfectly badly on the days when you don’t feel like doing anything at all?

Which leads me to the next part… are you clear about your goal? Do you know what it is that you want to achieve?

What I’d like you to consider though is this: who will you become once you have achieved that goal?

Start to play around with the concept of your future self and explore their identity. Use all of your senses to conceptualise who your future self is and how they show up in their world. How would they do their day differently to the way you do your day?

Which leads back full circle to where I started. Rather than regret not sticking to your goals, so your future self is annoyed with you… do something today that your future self thanks you for🙏.

Photo by Marionel Luciano on Unsplash



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